This is a commentary on this article by a resident reflecting on life, trauma, and death. The resident’s self-reflection is a nice read and something with which we can all identify. But the “meta-reflection,” if you will, is something we do not usually get to see in our EM journals. We read one or two essays in each Annals, sometimes in Academic EM and in JEM. I tend to read these first or tear them out and hold them until I can read in a quiet room and really concentrate on them. And I do my own reflecting on the themes and ideas presented by that person.
The commentary article describes the difficulty in a self-analyzing essay. The schizophrenia and detachment involved in presenting your own thoughts in this way. Dr Ratzan reviews some of the (sadly few) accomplished physician writers and their themes. William Carlos Williams was a poet/writer and physician. Richard Selzer, a retired Yale surgeon, is still living and I hope still writing. His books are so rich and he is so talented a writer that I can hardly read more than 20 pages at a time. Brilliant physician writers are rare but essential to the humanity of our profession.
And emergency medicine in particular, with its intensity and ?necessary detachment, might need this humanity more than any other specialty. I recommend we all read something either in the medical humanities, or something seemingly unrelated to medicine. You might think the literature or the book of humor or the young adult futuristic death competition book is non-medical. But connecting, or reconnecting, with that part of yourself that is separate from the ED will make you a better doctor and healer.
It can become trite to say feelings are important, we need to have empathy, there is a human side to this job of ours, etc. And it is a difficult jump from reading a feel-good essay to the next day walking into the room of a patient with fibromyalgia and trying to channel that empathy you were just reading about. But trust me, if you make an effort to do this you will appreciate your patients. Good advice I read from a Brazilian shaman: “remember that the world does not revolve around you.” you have to really think about that to understand. Try to picture the world through literally through other people’s eyes, makes yourself and your troubles seem smaller.
The patient you are seeing in the ER is likely having the worst day of his month or year or even life. Try not to forget that. Happy Thanksgiving.